Self-Assesment: The Good, Bad and Ugly!

For many of us, self-judgement and assessment is a habitual way of thinking that we adopted in childhood to try to protect ourselves from fear, rejection, or failure. It’s the voice inside our head that says, “you are not smart enough, good enough, fast enough…in short, you are not enough.”

Unfortunately, when it’s not addressed head-on, this way of thinking can easily become a deceptive and self-fulfilling prophesy in adult years, facilitating a cascade of emotion such as fear, anger, anxiety, and depression that becomes louder and more pervasive during periods of stress.

Given this slippery slope, can harsh self judgement and deprecation be controlled to optimize performance and improve outcomes regardless of stressors?

Albert Bandura published a seminal study on the issue is the ‘70s: “Self-Efficacy: Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioral Change.” Psychological Review.Self-efficacy was defined as a person’s belief in their ability to succeed and their subsequent thoughts, behaviors, and actions.

The research documented a correlation between performance and self-efficacy measures.  Lower self-efficacy was associated with a focus on personal failings, negative emotions, and a belief that difficult tasks or situations could not be tackled. At this level participants saw challenges as threats and were more likely to give up easily when challenges emerged. They reported feeling depressed and defeated.

Participants with strong self- efficacy, however reported being persistent and confident in their ability to succeed, even when things became difficult.

Bandura reported that while self-efficacy started to develop in childhood, this trait continued to evolve throughout adult years and was impacted by mastery experiences, self- perception, interpretation of one’s own psychological responses to challenges (ie stage fright) and the persuasion and encouragement of others.

The most encouraging revelation was that self -efficacy can be nurtured and strengthened at all stages of life. How?

1.   Be conscious and take note of every deprecating thought and feeling that emerges throughout each day. Objectively consider the source. Is this the same playback tape you’ve always used? Is there any irrefutable data here indicating truth? Most often it is not accurate. Command yourself to stop the destructive chatter and call it out.  Reframe, practice affirmation, and move on. You’re building mental muscle. The more you command yourself to do this, the more successful you will be.

2.   Celebrate your successes. Set goals that are achievable…even if they are tough and require considerable work. Acknowledge and celebrate accomplishment.

3.   Use and seek positive affirmations that reinforce the message that ‘you can do it.’ Reflect on and practice positive affirmations daily.

4.   Find role models you admire who are strong, resilient, and successful and learn more about the ways they manage and overcome challenges.

By intentionally monitoring and managing self-talk, we can channel success and maximize potential throughout our lives.

Bottom line - whether we think we can, or think we can’t, we’ll be right!  

Are you ready to reach for sustainable excellence, set yourself apart and thrive in 2022 and beyond? Let’s talk! Drop me a line at laura@bydesigncoachingcenter.com.